By Cassandra Taylor, Publications Assistant

“Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children,” the Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us (§2223). This duty, of such importance for all parents, is perhaps brought into even sharper relief for those who have chosen to homeschool. The preparation for this task begins long before children are born, a truth TMC alumna Susie Lloyd (née Tardiff) ’88 knows from experience. Now a homeschool consultant and speaker, Mrs. Lloyd is the author of Bless Me, Father, For I Have Kids and Please Don’t Drink the Holy Water!

She took some time to share how her time at the College laid the foundations for her homeschooling career and shares some tips for those who are looking forward to educating their children in the TMC tradition.

You are a homeschool consultant as well as a speaker and author. How did the education you received at the College prepare you for your writing career, as well as educating your children and helping others to do the same?

Thomas More equipped me to learn everything I needed to learn in the thirty-five years since I graduated. When you study the primary sources, the great thinkers, the Great Books, you ask certain questions: Who said what? Why did he say it? What does it mean? Is it true? What do I do with it? You begin to consider everything this way. You develop a habit of mind. You learn how to learn. It’s funny to look back on how people used to say, “Philosophy? What are you going to do with that?” Where do I start?

I’ll start with my day job, my vocation as a wife and mother and now a grandmother—sixteen times! When I got married, right out of college, I was a tabula rasa about all things domestic, except for my mother’s example of duty before all else. My education gave me the tools to learn everything I needed to run a household—materially as well as culturally. Running a household is another thing our present society does not attach much importance to—except if you are bad at it or neglect it. And so families fall apart and so does society.

I have always felt that my education gave me a leg up on homeschooling, which is more than just drilling spelling at the kitchen table—though it is that. Planning, supervising, teaching seven children for nearly thirty years takes a certain vision and confidence and sense of adventure which I believe I caught while rubbing elbows with the great movers of our Western civilization.

I do not understand people who think it is pointless to educate someone who is “just” going to be a wife and mother. This is to devalue or at least underestimate a great calling, a vocation. We are a vital part of the creative minority. As families fall apart around us, we get to help preserve and advance culture.

That is what I have always tried to share with others, whether starting up and teaching at our local homeschool co-op or calling forth and singing in our polyphonic choir. How these things go is you start out small and humble—for example, I teach public speaking in the church vestibule—but then you end up having more people than you can manage. No one wants to start anything, but as soon as you launch out into the deep, everyone joins up. And then the adventure begins. Our choir, for example, started with a few nerdy homeschoolers learning to sing hymns in four parts. Twenty years later, we do the greatest hits of the Renaissance. We recently sang in Rome at St. Mary Major for the 450th anniversary of the victory at Lepanto.

As for my writing in particular: certainly the constant reading and writing at TMC gave me the skills for it. It was not something I set out to do as a side career. It came to me. I was writing letters to friends (pre-Internet) and one of them happened to be an editor. The rest followed. I now see that God sent it to me not just for myself but as a kind of ministry. I still have an old letter from a cancer patient, now deceased, who was then trying to homeschool, I think, eight children. Even now, people tell me that those rather silly books provided comic relief to them. Not long ago, a young priest told me his mom loved those books, and they really helped her persevere in homeschooling. Homeschooling is often a very lonely task for mothers. You have to stay home and get it done, no matter how bad you are at it, or how tired you are, or how uncooperative your children are. If you are isolated, you can really fall into guilt and resentment. The books helped people realize they were not alone in not being perfect.

Somehow God planned that I would do this strange and slightly embarrassing work. He did not pick a genius or a saint. I guess that was the whole point.

I have always felt that my education gave me a leg up on homeschooling.

–Susie Lloyd ’88

What are your thoughts on incorporating the Great Books into a homeschool curriculum?

I’m for it—to the extent that it is possible. I have always been more inclined to the “good books,” as John Senior called them. As a new mom, I read The Restoration of Christian Culture and it was formative. These are the books that children should read—say from Aesop to Austen—which prepare their minds for the great ones. Of course we have done a few great ones as well, such as the works of Shakespeare. I have read aloud to my kids for years and would always pick a book they would not pick up and read on their own, but would be just a little higher. Such as the play A Man for All Seasons, or the memoir of Father Ciszek, With God in Russia, or the primary source, The Four Voyages of Christopher Columbus. Homeschool consulting clients often ask me what to read for this or that age child, so I went into my files and started compiling my great big list of books from all the years and am now making that available as a resource. Now that most of the kids are out of the house, the books remain with us. We still share them and talk about them. We often talk about starting a book club among ourselves, but so far we can’t settle on the book! Too many good ones. Everyone has a different suggestion.

Any practical advice for alumni who are looking to incorporate the signature aspects of a TMC education—the Catholic culture, hands-on learning, and conversational classes—into their homeschooling routine?

Talk to your kids about anything. Be able to give reasons for what you believe and live by. Since my husband and I both received good educations ourselves (he had some amazing mentors at La Salle University in Philadelphia), it came naturally to talk to our kids about everything. In fact, one of the girls, who is now well into marriage and family herself, was asked by a friend if she ever rebelled against the Catholic faith. She said no, because we as parents could always give reasons for the way we lived.

Also, give your kids real experiences, as John Senior also mentioned. Go outside, into nature. Leave the phone behind. Ban video games. Have real life achievements. Develop a work ethic. Work with your hands, as well as your mind. We are also into going places rather than just reading about them. We have sent all of our kids to the Old World while still in high school. We don’t have a lot of money, but the kids financed most of their trips themselves by saving money from their part-time jobs—another real experience.

You and your husband have sent several of your children to TMC. Why do you think the College is a good choice for a homeschooled student?

I am sure it looks like we “sent” them, but really they chose TMC themselves, having visited many other excellent schools. In fact, they were accepted at every school to which they applied. At a certain point, your child needs to leave you and go into the classroom and be part of campus life and be challenged in ways you cannot provide at home. The positive, joyful atmosphere at TMC is something you feel as soon as you step foot onto campus. My husband always calls it a garden. It is a safe space in the best sense, in that the students rejoice in the good, not in tearing each other down. You can’t underestimate the value of peace in any setting, especially one in which you are trying to learn. We certainly appreciate that the price is manageable. Our children have largely put themselves through college and come out with relatively low student debt. They have not had to leave school halfway or take time off to earn enough to finish as some of their friends from other schools have. They have been able to have their own families without crushing debt. I believe the staff and teachers at TMC have made many personal sacrifices to make the education affordable, and I hope they are rewarded a hundredfold even in this life for their generosity. A lot of people preach it; they live it.

What are your favorite memories from your time at the College?

Being mentored by the gallant Dr. Sampo. He was like a father to me—he protected me from myself, believed in my potential, and trusted me with more and more responsibility. And he liked my writing style—which served as a revelation to me.

Another favorite: staying up late telling stories back and forth with my roommate, Mary Jo. We used to laugh so hard people would say they could hear us through the walls. Though we do not live near each other, we’re still good friends. We recently met up halfway, each driving 2.5 hours, got a hotel room, and stayed up late telling silly stories.

I have even more happy memories from watching my own children go through TMC. It is a different school than the one I attended, so now I actually prefer to be thought of as a parent, more than an alumna. My favorite memories of my children’s time here include going to the plays they directed or acted in, or hearing them sing. These are things we have done all our lives together which they carried into the student life at TMC and refined.

Thomas More equipped me to learn everything I needed to learn in the thirty-five years since I graduated.

–Susie Lloyd ’88

What advice would you give to our students who are looking forward to homeschooling their children, or are interested in becoming authors themselves?

Both of those initiatives require perseverance. You have to have a lot of energy and you have to make many sacrifices. There are many things I did not pursue with my writing career because I was homeschooling. The family had to come first. If this, then not that. I think we tell ourselves in this culture that we can do it all. What we don’t say is that we cannot give our full attention to all equally. So keep a balance. Ask God what His priorities are.

For further reading:

Life-long Learning: An Interview with Dr. Michael Dougherty ’95

From Literature to Motorcycles: An Interview with Richard Worsham ’07